15 Subtle Signs of a Fake Friend

Our friendships can enhance our lives. Friends support us when needed and bring solace and happiness during trying and tough moments. Sadly, not every relationship is as strong and advantageous to both parties.

Regretfully, many of us have encountered false pals and had bad experiences. In these situations, a connection that initially seems trustworthy might suddenly turn out not to be so honest.

They Get Upset When You Tell Them “No.”

Feeling that you cannot say “no” to a friend may be extremely damaging “because it creates a dynamic where you don’t feel like you have a choice.” And it gets simpler to say “yes” to everything rather than cope with your friend’s frequently guilt-tripping response. 

Newsflash: Authenticity and freedom of choice, not duty and fear, are the foundation of a great friendship.

You Frequently Feel Confused

Orange County, California-based licensed therapist Emily Maynard, LMFT, advises that being unclear about one’s position is a reliable indicator that something is wrong with the friendship.

Maynard says, “You might be stuck in a toxic friendship if you’re spending a lot of time talking about this certain dynamic with someone else, worrying about what [this friend] thinks, constantly feeling left out, or fixated on their social media posts to figure out where you stand.”

They Often Showcase Signs of Jealousy

According to Maynard, a fake friendship may be indicated if your friend tends to become angry when you have positive things happen to you or when you make decisions for your own life that differ from theirs.

She says, “Being jealous is a natural emotion in relationships, especially during periods of transition or development, but it shouldn’t lead to nasty behavior.” “Someone may not be a trustworthy long-term friend if they use stress or jealousy as an excuse for their bad behavior instead of accepting responsibility to change.”

They Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

The way a good friend uplifts you, a fake friend cannot. Leeds claims you “may feel insecure, used, or judged” around this individual. Sometimes, you may sense their disapproval or judgment without their having to say anything.

They Only Reach Out When They Need Something

This is an unhealthy friendship behavior because it makes you feel like you’re being taken advantage of, whether for your connections, excellent advice, or the resources you know.

“It leads to an unbalanced friendship in which your needs are disregarded and minimized and your friend’s needs are the only times you are useful.” 

They Drain Your Energy

Observe your feelings both during and after your time with this person. Do they make you feel exhausted?

Spending time with a fake friend would probably seem exhausting or overly preoccupied with them. “These are clear indicators that a big shift is needed if the friendship is to continue.” 

Talks About Others Behind Their Backs

Let’s be crystal clear: They are likely gossiping about you if they are gossiping to you. These dishonest people enjoy stirring up trouble and are incapable of keeping secrets.

They exchange information as if it were money, and the next thing you know, your private life can be in danger.

The Master of Passive-Aggression

This kind of false friend presents slights with a thin air of politeness. They greet every occasion with a passive-aggressive comment, making even the easiest talks a language minefield.

• They may say, “You’re so brave to wear that outfit.” It would never work for me!”
• Regarding deadlines, I wish I could be as relaxed as you are. It has to be soothing!”

They Struggle to Keep Their Promises

A fake person doesn’t give a damn if someone keeps their word. A false person is dishonest and will not take action if it does not directly benefit them. 

They often have surface-level affection for others and don’t have deep emotions for them, so they won’t care if they let someone down.

You Feel “Less Than” After Spending Time Together

After spending time with friends, you should feel seen, heard, understood, and valued for who you are. If you leave a hangout with a friend feeling self-conscious, think about the reason for your feelings. It’s critical to consider the words and ideas your friend uses to describe you. “Are they attempting to undermine you to elevate themselves?

Are they frequently “just kidding”? Do people say you’re overly sensitive? In such cases, Miller says, “This kind of person is not someone who knows how to have a quality friendship.”

They Use Your Secrets Against You

You should feel comfortable trusting a friend you’ve confided in to keep your information secret. If you cannot get along with them and have cause to think they may disclose that knowledge to others in an attempt to harm you, you may be dealing with a fake friend. Trustworthy pals won’t turn on you. A friend ought to be able to make you feel protected.

When You Argue, It’s Easy for Them to Leave

A fake friend willingly quits a discussion when there is disagreement and doesn’t come back to try to resolve the issue. When they do return, it will only be long enough to allow them to pretend nothing occurred.

This friend finds it difficult to remain in your sphere of influence while you are suffering, struggling, or perhaps experiencing an especially needy season.

They’re Narcissistic

Attention-seeking and self-centered actions can point to an underlying narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

A narcissist might make your friend seem grumpy, harbor resentment, be too sensitive to criticism, or seek continual attention, making your friendship with them seem shallow.

They’re Focused on Appearances

Some people value a friendship’s appearance on camera more than its actual nature. If your “friend” obsessively ensures everyone knows what you do together, it may indicate inventiveness. When they start acting shallow, watch out and decide if you should break up with them.

They Always Seem to Need Something From You.

Leeds says fake friends usually only contact you or get together when they want something from you.

Maybe you were taken aback when they contacted you one day to inquire how you were, only to find out the next day that they had applied for a position at your company and asked you to recommend them.

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