Marriage is often seen as a lifelong commitment filled with love, companionship, and mutual growth. However, the journey isn’t always smooth, and some hidden issues—silent killers—can deteriorate the relationship over time, leading to divorce.
Understanding these subtle yet potent factors is essential to sustain a healthy marriage.
Lack of Communication
Communication is the foundation of any relationship. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist, asserts, “The difference between happy and unhappy couples is not that the former don’t fight—they do. Happy couples fight, but they repair the situation and move on.”
A lack of open, honest communication can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional distance, hindering the resolution of conflicts and establishing deeper connections.
Financial Stress
Money can cause significant tension in relationships. According to a SunTrust Bank survey, 35% of respondents pointed to finances as the primary source of stress in their relationship. Financial disagreements can erode trust and lead to resentment if not addressed timely and transparently.
Unrealistic Expectations
Min An
Unrealistic expectations can create pressure and dissatisfaction. In his book, The Course of Love, the famous author Alain de Botton explains, “One of the greatest sources of unhappiness stems from our expectations of how things should be, rather than how they actually are.”
Couples need to align their expectations to maintain harmony.
Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy goes beyond physical interaction; it’s about emotional closeness and bonding. A lack of intimacy can lead to feelings of neglect and misunderstanding, setting the stage for separation.
Infidelity
Cheating is a significant breach of trust. In Psychology Today, based on the American Psychological Association research, infidelity is the cause of 20-40% of divorces in the United States. Trust, once broken, is challenging to rebuild, making infidelity one of the primary factors contributing to divorce.
Poor Conflict Resolution
Disagreements are inevitable, but how couples handle them makes all the difference. “It’s not the presence of conflict, but rather the absence of effective conflict resolution that’s problematic,” says Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist. Couples must learn to resolve conflicts healthily to avoid long-term damage.
Growing Apart
Couples often drift apart as life gets hectic and priorities change. However, recognizing these shifts and actively striving to reconnect with your partner is critical. Effective communication is vital in closing the gap between two individuals and reigniting that deep connection.
Lack of Appreciation
Feeling unappreciated can lead to resentment. Psychologist Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, emphasizes the importance of expressing gratitude and appreciation in sustaining a healthy relationship. Simple gestures of acknowledgment can go a long way.
Ready to make your first budget?
Enter your email and get the free template
External Influences
Family and friends can sometimes exert undue influence on a marriage. It is essential to keep personal matters private and maintain boundaries. Dr. Harriet Lerner, a clinical psychologist, advises, “While it’s important to have a support system, decisions within a marriage should remain between the partners.”
Addiction
Substance abuse, gambling, and other addictions can wreak havoc on a marriage. Both partners must seek help and address the underlying issues that contribute to addiction. A robust support system, therapy, and possibly a 12-step program can aid in recovery and rebuilding trust within the marriage.
Power Imbalance
A healthy marriage requires equality. When one partner consistently dominates or controls decision-making, it can lead to feelings of powerlessness and resentment. Mutual respect and shared power are critical to a thriving relationship.
Neglecting Self-care
Neglecting self-care can result in physical and emotional exhaustion, making it challenging to be present and supportive in the marriage. Prioritizing self-care, such as exercise, healthy eating, and pursuing hobbies, can improve overall well-being and positively impact the marriage.
Unresolved Past Issues
Carrying unresolved baggage from past relationships can affect the current marriage. Addressing these issues through couples therapy or individual counseling can prevent them from becoming silent killers.
How I make $11,000 per year renting out my spare rooms?
Get access to my FREE guide now.
Different Parenting Styles
Parenting can either bring couples closer together or drive them apart. “As a divorce lawyer, I have seen firsthand how differing parenting styles can lead to divorce. While opposites often attract in dating, these differences can become less compatible when raising children. The qualities that made you fall in love with someone don’t always translate to effective co-parenting,” explains Jenna Feldman, a divorce attorney.
She advises, “Open communication and mutual agreement on parenting decisions are important in preventing conflicts and strengthening the relationship.”
Emotional Withdrawal
Emotionally withdrawing from a partner can be as damaging as physical absence. Dr. John Gottman describes “stonewalling” as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in relationships. Staying emotionally connected is essential for sustaining a healthy marriage.
Understanding and addressing these silent killers can significantly enhance marital satisfaction and longevity. Open communication, mutual respect, and continuous effort from both partners are essential ingredients for a thriving relationship. As you navigate your marital journey, remember that every challenge presents an opportunity for growth—both as individuals and as a couple.
Experts Spill the Tea: 13 Dead Giveaways You’re Caught up in a Toxic Friendship
Friendships are like a perfect cup of tea—warm and comforting with a touch of sweetness. But when they start to taste off, become bitter, or lose warmth, they can become far from the soothing relationship they once were.
Experts Spill the Tea: 13 Dead Giveaways You’re Caught up in a Toxic Friendship
10 Red Flags That Say “Don’t Date Me, Run!”
The Reddit community compiled a list of red flags that should be avoided by men and women.
10 Red Flags That Say “Don’t Date Me, Run!”
21 Reasons Why Older Women Are Now Saying They’d Rather Be Alone
The Office for National Statistics indicates that the number of women who are not in a relationship and have never been married is increasing across all age groups under 70. The number of older single women has doubled in the past decade. Also, according to recent data from the U.S. Census Bureau, 45% of the U.S. population aged 18 and above is single, with a majority of women.
21 Reasons Why Older Women Are Now Saying They’d Rather Be Alone
How I make $11,000 per year renting out my spare rooms?
Get access to my FREE guide now.