The term “narcissism” has been around for centuries, originating from the Greek myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his reflection. In modern psychology, narcissism refers to a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. While we often throw the term around casually, true narcissism is a complex and potentially harmful condition.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition that is estimated to affect around 1 to 6 people out of 100. According to psychologists, some of the most common traits associated with narcissism include the following:
Lack Of Empathy Or No Empathy Towards Others
Lack of empathy is one of the defining characteristics of narcissism. People with NPD often have difficulty understanding and relating to the emotions and experiences of others.
They may also lack the ability to recognise or care about how their actions affect those around them.
A Sense Of Entitlement And Superiority Over Others
Another common trait of NPD is an exaggerated sense of self-importance and entitlement. Narcissists often believe they are more important and deserving than others. They may constantly need admiration and praise.
Viewing Love And Relationships As Transactional (“What’s In It For Me?”)
Narcissists view relationships as transactional, focusing on what they can get from it rather than genuine care or connection.
They may see their partners as objects to fulfill their needs and desires. They are also quick to discard or devalue those who no longer serve a purpose to them.
Using Relationships As Tools To Manipulate Others
Narcissists are skilled manipulators and may use their relationships to control and gain power over others.
They may gaslight, manipulate, and emotionally abuse their partners to get what they want. They view relationships as a means to an end and will not hesitate to use others for their gain.
Fear Of Losing Control Over Situations, People, Or Perceptions
Narcissists have a strong need for control and can become anxious or enraged if they feel like they are losing it. This fear of losing control can manifest in various ways, such as micromanaging their partner’s actions, constantly monitoring their whereabouts, or becoming controlling and possessive.
They may also try to manipulate how others perceive them by presenting themselves in a certain way and expecting others to comply with their desired image.
Consistent Lying And Omission Of Truth
Consistent lying and omitting the truth are common traits of narcissists. They often have a distorted sense of reality and may lie or exaggerate to make themselves look better or gain an advantage over others.
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They may also withhold vital information from their partners to maintain control or manipulate situations in their favor.
Seeking Power Positions Within Family, Workplace, Religion, Or Business
This is another characteristic of narcissists. They have an intense need for control and may seek leadership positions or try to manipulate situations to be in positions of power. This can manifest in personal and professional settings and within religious or political groups.
Gaslighting (Denying Others’ Experiences Or Feelings)
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse commonly used by narcissists. They will deny or invalidate the experiences and feelings of others, causing them to doubt their reality and perception. This can damage relationships as it undermines trust and confidence in oneself.
Disrespecting Others’ Boundaries
This is another way narcissists demonstrate their lack of empathy and self-centeredness. They may not respect personal space, privacy, or boundaries set by others, believing they are entitled to whatever they want. This can lead to violating the rights and feelings of others without remorse.
Lack Of Personal Accountability
Narcissists often struggle with taking responsibility for their actions and admitting when they are wrong.
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They may shift blame onto others, make excuses, or use manipulation to avoid accountability. This can significantly damage relationships, undermining trust and communication.
Controlling Behaviors And Demanding Excessive Attention
Narcissists may exhibit controlling behaviors, wanting to be in charge and have things done their way.
They may also demand excessive attention, seeking constant validation and admiration from others. This can make it challenging for those around them to maintain their autonomy and sense of self.
Self-aggrandizing And Self-centered Behavior
Self-centeredness is a hallmark trait of narcissism. Narcissists often prioritize their own needs and desires above those of others, showing little empathy or consideration for the feelings and perspectives of those around them.
They may also exaggerate their achievements and talents, seeking constant praise and admiration from others.
Unpredictable Mood Swings To Keep Others On Edge
Narcissists can be highly manipulative and use their moods to control those around them. They may use sudden shifts in mood, from charming and charismatic to angry and hostile, to keep others on edge and maintain a sense of power over them. This can create an unhealthy dynamic in relationships where the narcissist holds all the power.
Making Excuses For Bad Behavior And Deflecting Criticism
Narcissists often cannot take responsibility for their actions and will make excuses or deflect criticism. They may blame others, circumstances, or the victim for their negative behavior. This allows them to avoid accountability and maintain their self-image as perfect and faultless.
Due to their fragile egos, narcissists have a hard time handling rejection or criticism. Any criticism is seen as an attack on their perceived perfection and may result in defensive behavior or manipulation tactics.
Harbouring Envy Towards Others Or Perceiving Envy From Others
Narcissists often have deep-seated envy towards others, especially those they perceive as more successful or attractive than them. They may also believe others envy them and constantly try to prove their superiority.
This envy can manifest in various ways, such as belittling others, trying to one-up them, or sabotaging their success. It ultimately stems from the narcissist’s insecurity and need for validation and admiration. However, this constant comparison and competition with others can be exhausting for both the narcissist and those around them.
It is essential to recognize these behaviors and set boundaries to protect oneself from the adverse effects of being in a relationship with a narcissist.
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